So Fetch, Gretch!
by Whirlpool833
Summary: Did you ever wonder what ever happened to Gretchen after the film? Or even her full background? You're in luck, she has decided to write an exclusive auto-biography about herself! Each chapter she'll discuss a different topic, such as why pink is a good colour, the making of the toaster strudel, and much more! But most of all, her big question is, why is fetch not a thing yet?
1. Why am I writing this?

**Why am I writing this?**

When the film ended, everyone was so happy. Everyone was either thinking, "Yay! Cady isn't hated anymore!", or, "Regina's nice now!" and sometimes even thinking, "Omg, Karen looks so nice in her dress!". Now let me ask you one thing, was anyone noticing that I was actually looking alright for once! I mean, I had a really hard time changing into nice things after no one caught me, causing me to fall on Karen! My excuse is, I was wearing something really adorable that day, and everyone was so stunned by it that their brain didn't register to catch me. Meanwhile, Karen has no brain. When I went to the Spring Fling, I had a hard time picking out a dress because my head was aching! Could be because I had my first doughnut in a couple of months, gotta keep my body slim and perfect, but I bet it was because of the fall! I quickly selected something and went, also my excuse for not being Spring Fling queen! A purple dress, with a red bow! So not fetch!

Speaking of which, why will no one let me say fetch, it's really annoying! So everyone is allowed to say, omg, lol, lmao, and not FETCH! Outrageous, if it is said by me, why is it not yet a thing! Crazy, absolutely crazy. We could make it a thing, if only people said it more!

I've joined a new group now, but I miss my old group. I even miss Regina George. You know, the girl who I made an awesome Caesar reference to during History. It was so cool, I can't believe I got a D. My teacher even recommended that I show _less_ emotion next time. RUDE!

So you may be wondering, why am I actually writing this? I could be getting a manicure right now! Well, fear not, I'll explain.

I saw Cady that week, on a Wednesday, and she came wearing a white sweater and jeans. I struggled to look at her.

"Do I not look right?" she asked, seeing my face.

"We wear pink on Wednesdays!" I cried, but she looked at me strangely. "Do we not do that anymore?"

"I didn't know we did." she shrugged innocently.

I sighed, the Plastics were really no longer a thing.

"Come in." I opened the door.

We made popcorn and sat on the sofa.

"We have a lot of tests coming up." she said. "And I have really gotten into writing, should I pursue writing or mathematics?"

I shrugged. "Aren't they both the same?"

Cady stared at me. "What do you want to be when you're older?"

"Geez, I don't know, a model? A youtuber?"

"What subjects do you like? Base it on them!" she said.

"Uh, Lunch?"

Cady giggled a little, a laugh only she can get away with. It took me a while for me to realise that she didn't realise I wasn't joking. "No, I mean actual subjects! You know, like mathematics, linguistics, physical social health education?"

I sighed, there is something I truly hate about Cady. No one says, "Time for mathematics!", everyone simply says, "maths". No one decides to waste time saying physical social health education, we all just say PSHE. Well, everyone except her. She never says short versions, they are always long.

"Um, maybe something?" I shrugged.

"Like what?"

"Um, I don't know!"

Cady sighed. "You know, maybe you should try writing!"

"Oh, please."

But Cady jumped from the sofa in eagerness. "Come on, let's go get you a notebook! I'll pay!"

If it was any person except Cady, I would have made them drag me there and then I'd sneak away to the nearest pub. But, unfortunately, her big eager eyes made me unable to refuse. We looked at all the notebooks, and I picked a pink, fluffly one which said on it in large black writing, "Pink is the new Black". Once we bought it Cady gave me some writing ideas.

"I'm writing one of a teacher forced to deal with ravaging kids." Cady paused. "Ms Norbury is helping me with it."

"Clearly." I groaned.

"What about someone who's plain crash landed in the Amazon?"

"Maybe, and then in the end she realises she can't live without lipstick and kills herself!"

I swear I saw Cady roll her eyes a bit. "Maybe something _else._ What about a story in a cat's point of view?"

"Oh yeah! It was a human who turned into a cat!"

"You're getting somewhere!" she grinned.

"But then she realises that cats still have periods, and so it kinda sucks!"

Cady's smile dropped and she struggled not to facepalm. "What about a book on yourself?"

"Yes! Perfect! All about my daily life!"

Cady's smile returned as she sighed in relief. "I gotta go, I have a strict curfew!"

"Then I'll start on it!"

So that's why I'm writing this now, because Cady forced me to. If you happen to be reading this, please tell your friends about it! Soon I'll be the historical figure, the almighty, GRETCHEN WIENERS!

Ugh, I hate my last name. Next chapter will be about why! For now, I must have my beauty sleep! My mom normally takes my phone away at this time, but right now she's in Canada with Dad, premiering the first toaster strudel to come to Canada! Dad says we'll be rich! Mom says that we will sell to more countries! Another reason I'll be a historical figure, I guess.


	2. Why Wieners is the WORST last name ever

**Why Wieners is the WORST last name ever**

So this chapter is going to be a bit about my life before I came to North Shore High. Well, before people realised how cool I was, I was in a different school known as "Your Worst Nightmare". No, of course it isn't. Cady just told me not to exaggerate too much when writing about myself. But why does it matter? If this is my opinion in this autobiography , right?

So, anyway, I had friends in my school before suddenly three new girls came in. They were all so different, all triplets, all wearing the latest designers on the magazines. They were known as Zara, Lara and Kara Banks. They were all immediately popular, so I thought, if I serve them, I'll be popular too! I gave them my phone number and said, "Call me". Obviously they did, I mean why wouldn't they, and they invited me to sit next to them! And I thought, duh, of course I would. So when I did, I was immediately THE QUEEN BEE. Everyone wanted to talk to me, everyone wanted to get to know me.

Only afterwards, those three girls got jealous of me, and I mean why wouldn't they? But it wasn't my fault, I can't help it if I'm popular can I? Those girls needed something about me to make fun of me with, and they knew the perfect solution. My last name!

"So, Wiener, huh?" Lara whispered to another girl during assembly. "Sounds like a sausage to me."

"Yeesh," the girl giggled, "sure does."

"Um, excuse me." they both turned around. "I'm right here, you know."

"Um," Lara imitated my accent, "we don't care."

The giggling girl whispered the exact same thing to another girl, and to another, and to another. Then of course they all told their friends. And their friends told it to all of their friends. Soon the entire school figured out, and my new nickname was switched from Queen Bee to Sausages. I mean, what a down grade. Everyone laughed at me and I was banned from sitting next to the triplets. Or next to anyone. So I sat next to myself. I kept reminding myself that I was still so much cooler than all of them, they just didn't realise it yet.

So what I did, is that I decided to be popular online. I made plenty of friends on there, all wanting to know about my life. There was one person who always replyed to each one of my posts. Regina George.

Okay, yes. We all know who she is now. But, I didn't know then, so stop rolling your eyes while reading this.

We became best friends. We made an online burn book and started posting it on a private account. All the people we hated, we insulted each one in a unique way. It was a masterpiece, however a week later I found myself in the principal's office with those three twits. Apparently, somehow it had gotten online, and unfortunately, those three were the first to see it. I got expelled.

It was fine though, my Mom was too busy working to notice, and my Dad didn't even care. He said I was simply speaking my opinion. That I shouldn't have been in school with those jerks anyway. That I would be put into another school. Good thing too, I missed being Queen Bee.

I remember texting Regina that night.

Today 00:35

Regina: You get expelled too?

Gretchen: Yeah, So annoying. Those brats told on me.

Regina: Same here. There is some silver lining though.

Gretchen: And what is that?

Regina: We both get a shot at ruling school again.

Gretchen: True. I'm going to some pathetic school called North Shore High.

Regina: Same. There's also another online friend of mine who's going there.

Gretchen: Who?

Regina: Karen Smith. Here's her email, karensmith353637  **(A/N Not a real email or link)**

Gretchen: Why the 35 36 37?

Regina: Those are her favourite numbers.

Gretchen: Stupid.

Regina: I know. Gtg going to bed.

Gretchen: K bye.

(Regina is now offline)

I was so excited when I realised we were going to the same school. We would start the next week.

Today 00:50

Regina: Oh I forgot to mention something.

Gretchen: What?

Regina: We are all going to wear pink

(Regina is now offline)

So, pink, huh? I had plenty of hot pink clothes in my wardrobe. I was going to look so fetch! The word came to me, such a wonderful word! It was perfect!

So that's how it all started. Pink is a truly wonderful colour, I'll be sure to explain it in my next chapter. Hope you liked this one!


End file.
